RESPECT

I grew up in a family where a strong sense of competition was always present.

In sports.
At work.
In everyday life.

Performance mattered.
Winning was important.
Success was admired.

A reflection of our society.
And also a part of me.

Letting go of that, even just a little, is still not a finished process for me - but an ongoing and meaningful journey.

At the same time, my parents showed me something else that was just as important: Respect.
And love in the way we treat other people.
For that, I feel especially grateful today.

I remember my father.
The way he spoke with waiters, taxi drivers, neighbors, or my teenage friends.
Never from above.
Always on equal terms.
With humor - and, above all, with genuine appreciation.

And I remember my mother.
The way she always had an open ear for her friends’ worries.
The way she lovingly cared for the nurse who looked after my ill father — a woman who, for a time, almost became part of our family.

Small gestures.
A lasting impact.

When respect becomes rare

Today, as an adult, I sometimes miss these gestures in my environment.
In a world that constantly judges, compares, and reacts, true respect almost feels unusual.

Because respect does not arise from rules.
Not from polite phrases.
But from inner calm.

The less threatened I feel within myself,
the less I need to diminish others.
Why we put others down
Putting others down rarely comes from malice.
More often, it comes from insecurity - from the need to feel more stable within ourselves.
Because when I make someone else smaller,
I don’t have to question myself.

But connection works in the opposite way:
When I allow you to stand
in your own strength.
In your own perspective.
In your own experience.
Even if I don’t share it.

Respect does not mean always agreeing.
It means taking the other person seriously in their experience — and leaving their dignity untouched.
It is exactly where people don’t have to feel small that trust begins.
And where trust grows, closeness comes naturally.

The boxes in our minds

Why do we so often feel the need to categorize people instantly?
To judge.
To label.

Sometimes, a few seconds are enough to put someone into a box.
Intelligent.
Uneducated.
Left.
Right.
Important.
Unimportant.

I sometimes wonder:
What would our world look like if we asked each other more about values instead of status?
If we stayed curious
instead of being quick to assume?

If our questions went deeper
than “How was your day?”

Perhaps life would feel more colorful.
More open.
More human.

Respect shows in listening

Respect is not only visible in what we say.

It shows in
whether we give space.
whether we truly listen.
whether we are able to apologize.

Whether we allow people to be who they are.
And whether we have patience with those who need time to open up.

Respect across cultures

Some time ago, I met an international blended family that truly lives this kind of respect.

A four-year-old grandson is growing up surrounded by biological and non-biological parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents — from Spain, the Netherlands, and South America.
Different cultures.
Different languages.
Different life stories.

And yet, despite circumstances that are anything but simple, this family manages to treat each other with remarkable respect.
They listen to one another.
They make space for differences.
And they even celebrate - in all their diversity - a peaceful Christmas together.

When I asked how they do it, the answer was very simple: Respect.
Respect for the other person.
For their culture.
Their story.
Their way of living.

That answer truly stayed with me.

A different way of being

In a world full of comparison
and competition,
true respect often feels unusual.

And perhaps that is exactly where its strength lies.

Because where respect begins —
for others
and for ourselves —
something emerges that we cannot buy:

Inner peace.
And a kind of freedom we always carry within us.

LUMA – It begins in you

Mini Exercise: The moment between stimulus and response

Today, take a moment to notice the small space before you react.

Maybe someone says something that irritates you.
Maybe someone behaves differently than you expected.
Maybe you notice a quick judgment arising within you.

Before you react, pause for a moment.
Take one conscious breath in and out. And ask yourself quietly:
“What might I not yet know about this person?”
This small moment of pause often changes more than we think.
Because this is exactly where respect begins.

Reflection question

When was the last time you truly felt seen and respected?
And how might you offer that same feeling to someone else?