Since I began exploring inner work and consciousness, my perspective on many of my attitudes and values has become clearer. This new perspective is gradually changing the way I live, too – in fundamental ways. It is an ongoing process that challenges me anew every day.
Yet along this journey, I have also discovered values that have been with me since childhood, values I have lived by quite naturally over the years – almost on autopilot.
One of them is my curiosity. While I am only now taking a closer look at many of my attitudes and values and working to integrate them into my life step by step, my natural curiosity has remained with me effortlessly. It has influenced so much of my life without me even realizing how much it has made possible.
Even as a child, I was always eager for new adventures, unfamiliar places and activities off the beaten track.
When I was about twelve, my family came close to emigrating to South Africa for a few years because my father had received a job offer there. I was absolutely thrilled by the idea. I immersed myself in everything I could learn about the country and was heartbroken when, in the end, it never happened. I simply couldn't understand why my mother was relieved.
For some reason, my appetite for new experiences never really faded over the years. I am very grateful for that. It sparked courage in me, set changes in motion and gave me countless extraordinary experiences and adventures. It has enriched my life enormously – and continues to do so.
Curiosity as a source of courage
At heart, I don't see myself as a particularly courageous person. In many ways, I would describe myself as rather shy. And yet, there are things I have done throughout my life that others might well consider brave.
Why? Because I was curious.
As a teenager, for example, I was determined to walk through the Bronx in New York on my own to take photographs for my final school project. When I suddenly found myself the only white person on the subway, I became frightened. But my curiosity was stronger.
I have a fear of heights – something I probably inherited from my father. I have been working on overcoming it for a long time. Some days I manage better than others. And yet, my curiosity has repeatedly helped me not to surrender completely to that fear. To feel it, but not let it take over. My love of adventurous hikes keeps drawing me back out there. With shaky knees, I have crossed countless suspension bridges. Sometimes, looking back, I honestly don't know how I managed it. But somehow, I did.
Over the course of my life, I have dived through shipwrecks, climbed aboard small aircraft and driven through long tunnels, across high bridges and over dizzying mountain passes time and again. Of course, that uneasy feeling in my stomach was always there. But in the end, my curiosity won.
Curiosity as a driving force for change
As far back as I can remember, there has always been something inside me that helped me recognize when a change in my life was needed. When the life I was living no longer fulfilled me or simply began to bore me.
I could sense when a job no longer inspired me, when I lacked challenges or when it was draining my energy.
The idea of living in the same place all my life never felt quite right to me either. I wanted to gain experience abroad, discover different ways of life and cultures, and broaden my horizons.
So, for example, I gave up a secure job to live and work in the Philippines for a while. It was a big step, naturally accompanied by a great deal of uncertainty. Yet something inside me kept pushing me to take these kinds of steps. The unknown wasn't always perfect, and it didn't always last. But every time, it was an experience that enriched me. And looking back, I have never regretted any of those decisions.
For me, though, this is also about balance. Curiosity should not become yet another expectation to constantly experience more, try more or achieve more. We don't always have to push our limits or throw ourselves from one adventure into the next.
But I am convinced that taking small, continuous steps into the unknown helps us remain open. It keeps us from settling too deeply into our habits, perhaps one day simply out of convenience or fear of what we don't know.
Why do people lose their natural curiosity?
Children are born with a natural sense of curiosity. They want to discover, experiment and understand. Young children often put everything they can get their hands on into their mouths. Some reach for a hot stove or touch an electric fence in a cow pasture. I tried both – and they were painful lessons. But that is exactly how we learn. We explore the world, gain experience and discover what is possible and where our limits lie.
I often wonder why so many people seem to lose some of this natural curiosity as they grow older.
It is probably very human to stay in familiar surroundings, in a secure job and within our established routines. Not necessarily because we are happy there, but because we think we know what to expect. The familiar gives us a sense of security and control. Curiosity, on the other hand, draws us towards the unknown. It challenges us to let go of some of that control and embrace something whose outcome we cannot yet predict.
Fear of making mistakes or being disappointed, negative experiences or simply time pressure and exhaustion can also lead us to try fewer new things.
On top of that, as we go through life, we increasingly believe that we already know so much. We have formed opinions on many subjects. And that can easily cause us to lose interest. But curiosity thrives on open questions. Even when something seems familiar, we can ask ourselves: Is there perhaps another perspective? Could I discover something I haven't noticed before?
Perhaps what we sometimes need is not more information, but something else: space for questions and the openness to be surprised – even by things that seem familiar to us.
I don't know why I never really lost my curiosity. Why the forces that keep us attached to the familiar, which perhaps become stronger for many people over time, never gained the upper hand in my life for good.
Perhaps it is because I have continuously taken steps into the unknown since my youth. In doing so, I have learned to keep moving despite fear and discomfort, trusting that there are experiences waiting beyond them that will enrich my life.
Perhaps, without even realizing it, I have learned to trust my curiosity.
We can cultivate curiosity
How often do we try to show what we can do or how much we know? How often do we want to make a good impression instead of taking a genuine interest in the person in front of us? Sometimes it is worth letting go of that need and allowing more of the childlike curiosity with which we once discovered the world.
In recent years, for example, I have made a particular effort to open myself up to meeting new people. I have discovered how enriching it can be to step outside my usual bubble and surround myself with people who are very different from me.
I have also consciously opened myself up to new experiences in my leisure activities. I have let go of the familiar, tried many new things and often started again from scratch. It continues to do me good to embrace the unfamiliar and discover entirely new sides of myself along the way.
We human beings are dynamic creatures. We change throughout our lives. So why do we keep unconsciously assuming that other people, our beliefs or the things we already know will always remain the same? Perhaps there is still something to discover, even in what is familiar, if we are willing to change our perspective.
Curiosity can also help us understand other people better. When we truly listen, ask questions and try to see the world from another perspective, we create space for understanding and empathy.
When I embark on something completely new, I find it much easier to approach it without expectations. I don't know beforehand whether I will enjoy it. Perhaps it will be wonderful. Perhaps it will simply be an experience. Ideally, both. One thing is certain: it rarely gets boring.
Curiosity – the balance between knowledge and wonder
Recently, I came across some interesting research on curiosity. It describes a connection between what we know and how curious we are: we are often most curious when we already know something about a subject, but still have plenty left to discover.
You can picture it as an inverted U-shaped curve: when we know very little about a subject, we may not yet have enough of a connection to it to feel curious. When we already know a great deal, there may be fewer unanswered questions to spark our curiosity. Somewhere in between lies a space where we understand enough to be interested, while still having plenty to explore.
Perhaps the art of cultivating curiosity lies precisely in moving beyond both extremes: finding the courage to take that first step into the unknown, while also learning to look at familiar things with fresh eyes. Because even where we think we already know everything, there may still be something left to discover.
Curiosity – the fuel of life
As long as you are curious, age cannot touch you. I can certainly relate to that. For me, curiosity remains an incredible source of fuel for my life and my vitality.
I love stepping outside my comfort zone, breaking away from the familiar time and again, and meeting people whose perspectives surprise and inspire me. I love discovering new things and the excitement of taking a step into the unknown.
Last weekend, at a Tai Chi retreat, I met an 84-year-old woman who fascinated me. She was so different from many older people I have encountered. She seemed deeply at ease with herself, content, and took part in the intensive training alongside the younger participants – without groaning or making a fuss. Calm, humble, with no need to know better than anyone else. She radiated a zest for life and vitality that I rarely encounter. I could only marvel at her.
Encounters like these give me energy. They remind me that life still holds so much that I have yet to discover. Not someday. But today. Every day that I remain curious.
Mini Exercise
Think of something you have been interested in for a while but have never tried.
What is holding you back? Perhaps it is the uncertainty of not knowing what to expect.
Take a first step. You don't have to know where it will lead. Just be curious enough to set off.
Reflection Question
Where in my life have I remained curious – and where could I be a little braver about embracing the unknown?