AUTHENTICITY

Sometimes you meet people.
You like them. It feels right.

And then you meet them again -
in a different context -
and suddenly everything is different.

A different attitude.
Different topics.
Why does this keep happening?

Who are you when no one is watching?

At some point, I came across a sentence:
Who are you when no one is watching?
That sentence moved something in me.

How much of our so-called “authentic self” do we really live -
and how much of it unconsciously follows the expectations of the outside world?

How we adapt

As children, we are wonderfully unique and authentic.

Then comes upbringing.
Then school.

And suddenly, it’s often no longer about
unfolding our uniqueness,
but about shaping us into a form.

Taking on a role.
Having a job later on.
One that fits into this society.

Children are constantly asked:
“What do you want to become?”
Rarely:
“Who are you?”

And so, from an early age,
they are taught that they are not enough yet.
That they still have to become something.

Yet the kind of success
that is so important in our society
often doesn’t align with our authentic self.

To follow it, we gradually build
a new identity: our ego.
The ego wants to meet external expectations.

And that is exhausting. Very exhausting.

The bigger the gap between our authentic self
and this constructed identity becomes,
the greater the inner tension and pain.

We feel dissatisfaction.
And emptiness.

A personal example

I think of my mother.
She often told us
how much she wanted to become an actress.

She had even passed the entrance exam
for a renowned acting school in Vienna.
But in her parents’ eyes,
acting was not a “proper” profession.

And there was a pharmacy at home.
So it was decided: she would study pharmacy.

The search for recognition

Later, it’s no longer just our parents
who shape us.

We seek recognition
from friends, neighbors, at work,
or on social media.

The more we orient ourselves toward external expectations,
the more we drift away from ourselves.
And the more we attract people
who function in the same way.

What remains beneath it all

And yet:
our authentic self doesn’t disappear.

It is still there.
Beneath all the layers.

And we can return to it at any time -
if we are willing to listen again.
Then we begin to see the gaps
and slowly close them.

The body and emotions as guides

The first access point is often the body.
When we tune in consciously,
we begin to notice more.

A pull.
A tightness.
An uneasy feeling.
And then we know: this is not me.

Emotions can also be signals.
Anger.
Fear.

They often show us
where we are not aligned with ourselves.

The courage to be honest

The path back to yourself is not easy.
It requires, above all,
the courage to be honest.

It means questioning habits,
leaving your comfort zone,
taking responsibility,
and sometimes being willing to stand out.

We cannot be authentic
and please everyone at the same time.

Is it easy for us to love people
who are not honest with us?
Probably not.

So how can we love ourselves
if we are not honest with ourselves?

No excuses.
No sugarcoating.
Just a clear look.

Back to you

Being authentic means
letting go of external expectations.

Having the courage
to say
and to live
what we truly feel.

When thinking, feeling, and acting align,
something beautiful emerges:

the ability to love ourselves -
and with it,
more calm
and inner peace.

Luma – it begins in you.

Mini exercise
Observe yourself today
in a situation where you are with other people.
Take a brief moment
to feel into your body: Do you feel openness - or tension?
Are you pretending - or are you being yourself?
That’s all you need to do.

Reflection question
In which moments of your life are you furthest away from yourself?